Despite being only metres away, the Q & A shoe-thrower missed his target because:
a) He was bribed by an Indian bookie.
b) He clearly needs military training.
c) Vegan diets traditionally lack iron.

Researchers say giving birth makes women smarter. This means that:
a) If your daughter is failing school, encourage her to get pregnant.
b) To better use their intelligence, mothers should go back to work immediately.
c) Stephen Hawking has a vagina.

One of the following is a major Junior Masterchef secret:
a) Producers feared Matt Preston would mistake contestants for the top of a wedding cake.
b) George and Gary privately say everything tastes like cardboard.
c) The loser of every challenge has to rub James Packer’s feet.

Dogs are increasingly invited to their owners' funeral. This is because:
a) Dogs are exceptional at digging holes.
b) There is a no more touching sight that a daschund dry-humping a coffin.
c) Funerals are a great place to meet bitches.

A 21 year old Ipswich man has been charged by police for allegedly tattooing a penis on a man's back. The tattooist's excuse was:
a) "It's actually a dragon. I'm just a really bad drawer."
b) "I didn't think he'd ever see it."
c) "I'm from Ipswich. And a tattooist. What do you want from me? "

For $2, subscribers can receive an SMS from Bec and Lleyton with the name of their new baby. The money will go towards:
a) Tennis lessons for Lleyton.
b) Regressive therapy for the child.
c) A bag of condoms for the Hewitts.

Answers can be obtained for two dollars from Lleyton Hewitt's Text-A-Star service

The opinions expressed in The 7PM Side Project blog do not necessarily reflect those of The 7PM Project or the Ten Network.