Katy Perry and Russell Brand have wed in a special Indian ceremony. What did the day involve?
a) A stressful, dramatic, typically Bridezilla morning of hair and makeup for the groom.
b) Consummating the marriage, just not with each other.
c) A last minute re-writing of the vows where ‘death’ is defined as a lack of publicity.

It was revealed that President Clinton once misplaced the nuclear launch codes. How?
a) He forgot to do the old ‘spectacles, testicles, wallet and watch and nuclear launch codes’.
b) If the digits aren’t 36-24-36, Bubba’s not interested.
c) The only warheads he needs are in his jocks. Am I right, voters?

Picture © 2010 ITV News

The 45 kilogram tigerfish pictured above was caught for a TV show. What happened next?
a) Rex Hunt kissed it and got leprosy.
b) They pulled it out and sea levels dropped by a metre.
c) It was made a judge on The X Factor.

Why did Australia reaffirm its commitment to the war in Afghanistan?
a) Tony Abbott really wants to shoot a gun.
b) To stop more hijackers from Saudi Arabia, silly.
c) Because Obama doesn’t really want to be there and we have to not really want to be there too.

Bart Cummings says Race Day music scares his horses. What might also scare his horses?
a) Getting whipped during a race.
b) Getting shot after a race.
c) His eyebrows.

John Howard is releasing his memoirs in which he reveals:
a) Before sex with Janette, he insists on giving a pitch report.
b) Whenever he passed Peter Costello, John would hum a Deep Purple riff and sing ‘Smirk on the Water’.
c) As a child he had the boogie monster in his cupboard deported to Nauru.

Answers can be found halfway down page 384,261 of the WikiLeaks report

The opinions expressed in The 7PM Side Project blog do not necessarily reflect those of The 7PM Project or the Ten Network.