Lost in love
Just when I thought Lost had left the vortex of my imagination, this little nugget appeared in my entertainment news spectrum.
The headline screamed “Lost star marries teenager!!" Quite a liberal use of the word star there, when it revealed that the “star” in question was Doug Hutchison, who portrayed little-known character Horace (you know, one of the ‘others’, or something to do with that crazy Dharma crowd… at this point, who the hell knows) in the eternally frustrating, creatively ambitious hit TV show. Not ringing any bells? Ummm, what if I told you he also played a corrections officer in The Green Mile – anything? Ifty in I Am Sam? No?? Then I’m out…
Hutchison, 51, chose to announce to the world that back in May he married 16-year-old beauty queen Courtney Stodden at the Chapel of the Flowers in Las Vegas. Usually, the legal age for marriage in Vegas is 18, but with parents’ consent, it drops to 16. And it seems good ol’ Courtney’s parents were only too happy to give their stamp of approval to the union, stating that she’s a good Christian girl and they couldn’t imagine a better guy for their daughter. Confuse me?
What kind of future can a wannabe model have marrying someone older than her father? Looks like she’s taken a leaf out of the book of Crystal Harris (who you may know as "nearly-Mrs-Heffner") – for, fear not, this teen queen also harbours dreams beyond that of doting trophy wife… she’s an aspiring country singer. Sure, because her music video for the catchy “Car Candy” certainly screams squeaky clean country gal. Ah, kids these days.
In other marriage news, this time involving two actual bona fide Hollywood stars, James Bond star Daniel Craig secretly married the gorgeous Rachel Weisz (The Mummy) in one hell of an exclusive ceremony.
Whilst deliriously happy for this genetically blessed couple, it comes with a little bit of shock'n'awe – who knew these two were even dating? Even James Bond himself would be impressed with the stealth precision it must have taken to pull off such a ninja feat. There wasn’t even the sniff of a tip off to the paparazzi, no big names guests or ‘close friends of the couple’ ready to spill insider secrets, and no ridiculously oversized tent or a mass of umbrellas to shield the bride.
It was simple. Classy. And private. In fact, there were apparently only 4 guests present – Daniel’s 18-year-old daughter, Rachel’s 4-year-old son, and a couple of family friends.
What are the odds that the friends in question were Miss Moneypenny and Q?
Life before Glee, and after tea
How refreshing it is to have a Hollywood actor come clean about his past issues with drugs and alcohol with clarity and acceptance, rather than hiding behind the old mantra of “exhaustion”?
Just ask Glee star Cory Monteith, who, at the rather un-high school age of 29 in reality, has admitted to past indiscretions, including stealing money from family to fund his drug habit. Not Lindsay “it wasn’t me” Lohan, who claims her latest house arrest misdimeanour was the result of drinking her favourite kombucha tea, and NOT alcohol.
Don’t get me wrong – the two actors actually have nothing in common other than making some dubious choices at one point or another. That Cory had the benefit of anonymity to sort himself out whilst poor Lindsay’s foray into utter debauchery was widely documented, is beside the point.
Sure, we have to suspend belief in order to fathom that man-child Cory is a “Gleeful” teenager, whilst poor Lindsay tries to convince us of her innocence at every turn… but the girl is just the gift that keeps on giving. Permission then to draw non-existent parallels between the two, Your Honour?
And so I give you the latest on la Lohan. Currently under house arrest for whatever thieving/drunken escapade she’s been in trouble for lately, lovely lass Lindsay decided she’d throw a rooftop party (not one for subtlety, is she?) and was busted “allegedly” drinking alcohol, promptly setting off her ankle monitor.
Lindsay’s defence? Why, it was merely her favourite kombucha tea!
But it turns out she didn’t need to come up with a such a ridiculous defence, as apparently there’s no rule against her slinging back a drink or 16 whilst she’s stuck at home. According to Judge Stephanie Sautner, the only thing she can be charged with is having poor judgement. And I quote: “You can go on your roof, but if probation calls you, you must answer.”
Wow, them’s fightin’ words. I think. It doesn’t even make sense. It just reads like some dodgy dialogue from a “very special” cautionary episode of “Gossip Girl”.
However, her father Michael Lohan has been adamant that drinking alcohol is NOT good for Lindsay.
Yeah no shit, Papa Lohan.