There are way too many right-wing, big-mouthed columnists in the media, who reinterpret the news so as to influence your understanding of world events. So meet the 7pm Grump, a left-wing, big-mouthed columnist, who sees the news from the other side. He’s the voice of reason, in a right-wing world of opinion and finger-pointing. And he’s easy on the eye too, even if he does say so himself. Which he does, regularly. Including right now. I wrote this introduction.
Headline reads: Too stubborn to drop carbon tax
Headline should read: Too stubborn to drop attacks
Who knew Captain Canberra was a blogger? And what a blogger! Here Tony Abbott presents statements aimed at convincing you, dear reader, that Australia is tinkering on the edge of disaster, and all we need is a carbon tax to tip us over the edge. Perhaps Tony knows you're too busy to get into any nerdy stuff like, “research” or “evidence”, to support his claims. Instead, he points out that it's not just Tony who thinks the carbon tax is a bad idea...
"This week, a procession of senior business leaders, led by BHP chairman Jac Nasser, said that this was the wrong time to introduce a carbon tax."
ZOMG! The chairman of one of Australia's biggest companies thinks it is a bad idea to tax Australia's biggest companies. Checkmate!
If for some reason you’re still not convinced, Tony throws into the mix worldwide sharemarket chaos, and American and European debt fears. He also says the mining tax and the carbon tax are only going to make Australia's sovereign risk problem worse? Not sure what that means? ‘Sovereign risk’ refers to the risk that a government may default on its debt obligations. Unfortunately, Tony is again failing to present some inconvenient truths that contradict his agenda. Like the fact that Australia has one of the strongest economies in the advanced world and very low levels of debt. The chances of Australia defaulting on our debt obligations are very unlikely. In fairness, I guess there's always a risk. Like how there’s always a risk that if you sing a Britney Spears song long enough, you might end up getting busted.
The real story here is not that Julia Gillard is too stubborn to drop the carbon tax. It's that Tony Abbott is too stubborn to stop his attacks on the carbon tax, and he’s even willing to mislead you along the way. And fair enough too. Since demonising the carbon tax, Tony has become more popular than Justin Bieber. You like what he’s saying, so why should he stop?
Headline reads: One Nation re-registered as political party to contest 2012 Queensland state election
Headline should read: One Nation Seeks Web Designer
Get your Aussie flags out, the Queensland division of the One Nation party is back, and as rightwing and angry as ever! I could rant about how backward One Nation's policies are, but I really don't see the point. It'd be like pointing out this guy's failings. It should be obvious. What I will do is direct you to One Nation's national website. It's amazing! And by 'amazing', I mean, 'not amazing'. Seriously, you don't see websites like this anymore. It's like One Nation hasn't updated the design since they won 22.7% of the vote in the 1998 Queensland election. It's the internet equivalent of going to Sovereign Hill. The highlights for me include the custard colour scheme, the horror-themed welcome gif, and this grammar fail, which you'll find in their Immigration section (just scroll down, everything is on the one page). When these guys learn how to embed a YouTube video, they're going to lose their shit.
Headline reads: Wong baby not right - Reverend Fred Nile
Headline should read: Reverend Fred Nile like 10,000 spoons
I didn’t want to rant about gay rights so soon again, given I’m still only just getting over my last outburst, but Reverend Fred Nile provoked me. And if there’s one thing the good reverend has taught me, it’s to speak my mind loudly and without consideration for those whom my views might offend. So here goes.
On the news that Sophie Allouache, the partner of Federal Finance Minister Penny Wong, is pregnant, Nile declared (presumably while burning an effigy of Wong), “I'm totally against a baby being brought up by two mothers - the baby has human rights”. The irony of this statement, whereby Nile would deny two humans the right to have a child, in a bid to protect an unborn human from what Nile’s religious views deem an ‘unnatural lesbian lifestyle’, is probably lost on him. Lost on him, like it was in 2007, when he called for a moratorium on Muslims immigrating to Australia... because Australians deserve breathing space from having unwanted religious views thrown in their face. Or how he’s currently campaigning to have ethics classes banned in NSW schools, where they are available for students who do not wish to attend traditional scripture classes.
Ironically, Fred Nile could give a world-class lecture on irony, without realising it. A further irony is that those likely to attend a Fred Nile lecture, are likely to think irony is just a typo of the word, ‘iron’, which is something women should do... rather than having children with each other. A final irony... Fred Nile probably likes this... for the irony.
The opinions expressed in The 7PM Side Project blog do not necessarily reflect those of The 7PM Project or the Ten Network.
Or, to be fair, Richard Branson.