On Monday night’s show, we covered the UN’s reported appointment of Mazlan Othman as an official spokesperson to communicate with aliens on behalf of humankind, should they ever get in touch. Read the story here. (The UN has subsequently denied considering such a position. But for the purpose of the rest of this article, let's pretend we didn't hear it.)

Of all that day's stories, this was the one that lodged most strongly in our viewers’ antennae, not including footy fans insulting each other (and Eddie McGuire), and cycling fans outraged that we didn’t mention Geelong’s World Road Cycling Championships as part of the forthcoming “biggest sporting weekend ever in the history of mankind… ever.” Bike fans, if it’s any consolation, we mentioned it yesterday in our news report on the website. Look closely. There it is, second-last-paragraph. See? You’re famous!

But back to the aliens. Several people questioned the need for such a role; some queried whether the money would be better spent elsewhere, and some sent proof of alien life and government conspiracies with links to relevant websites. We’re currently trying to figure out if those sites contain the truth, or if that’s just what the government wants us to think as part of the conspiracy. You can’t be too careful.

Unfortunately, as so often happens, the panel didn’t get around to reading out feedback on the show. So, for the record, here are some of the funniest contributions that made it as far as the Project desk.

(By the way, this list is just for fun. If you’d like to debate the more serious points, sign up to our Forums and go nuts.)

 

I used to talk to aliens all the time and they locked me up.
Bobcat

They should have picked me, I'm easygoing. Plus most days I’m so ill, I look green.
Joel

Can't we just Friend them on Facebook?
Katie

If aliens ever show up, you think anyone's gonna care what the UN has to say?
Travis

“Hi, sorry guys, according to the CAA you will need clearance to land here, so until our Government negotiates with the Greens and Independents I'm afraid you will have to land on Christmas Island to be processed.”
Beatabush

Sounds to me like they are expecting contact soon, is there something we don't know yet?
Craig

I suggest Jocelyn Wildenstein or Heidi Montag as spokespeople. The aliens will believe that we are made of plastic and therefore won't harvest us for food.
Craig

Make Kevin Rudd as the first contact to aliens, should confuse the hell out of them the way he talks
Chris

Was Will Smith busy? Surely he's best qualified, he's done it before a couple of times.
Glenn

Should be the queen. She is always so calm.
Mary

I wonder who the aliens are appointing for first contact with us?
Cooper

And the response…
Apparently they are appointing Wilson Tuckey
Cath

So are we all going to get Mazlan’s mobile number? Cause if aliens start hassling me, I want to know where to send them.
Beaker

Do they get a temp to fill in for her when she is away on holiday? I bet the week she’s in Bali is when the aliens contact and they end up talking to Rebecca who’s “on her gap year and trying to figure out what to do with her life”.
Maree

Ask them, why did they send us Rob Oakeshott?
Lyndsay

Is this what Kevin Rudd had in mind when he told the UN it needed to take action on the big issues to maintain its relevance?
Glenn

Thank God they are not giving first contact responsibility to a) a politician, b) the millitary, or c) a committee.
Amere

We should be a bit more proactive. Load Kevin Rudd into a rocket and shoot him out to meet them.
Glenn

We’re going to be in real trouble if “Mazlan Othman” turns out to be Venusian for “go screw yourself.”
Slats

 

But perhaps the most insightful feedback of the day came from Helen (and a few others who thought similarly):

 

Can we ask them how they resolve their tied Grand Finals?
Helen

 

Thanks everyone. Let's do this again sometime!

 

Feedback is sometimes edited a little to help get the point across more easily when read out on TV. If we didn’t quote you completely verbatim, no offence intended.

The opinions expressed in The 7PM Side Project blog do not necessarily reflect those of The 7PM Project or the Ten Network.