We’re not saying this is Blue Ivy. But we’re not saying it’s NOT Blue Ivy.
In what could be argued as the first big celebrity story of 2012, news and social-media websites went into meltdown over the weekend after news surfaced of the birth of Jay-Z and Beyoncé's little girl. And I'd like to congratulate them both on their beautiful, healthy baby. Really.
Having said that, I'd like to turn this story towards the people that use the internet, so, basically everyone. Can we all please get over this quickly and leave them alone? And by leave them alone, I mean just not talk about it at all, ever again? No pictures, gossip, stories, hearsay or exclusive interviews with a nurse who works in a hospital that looks 'just like the one Beyoncé gave birth in'. I don't care, and guess what? Neither should you.
The miracle of life is indeed a miracle and while I may be bringing that down, I have very good reason. It's because of everyone’s stupid interest in celebrity culture and their need to indulge in knowing every little detail about every little aspect of a celebrity's life. Not only should we NOT care, but the fact that we do is indeed hurting the society we live in and, as I discovered with this latest birth, quite possibly leading to unnecessary death.
"WTF?" I hear you ask. Okay, so how many of you heard that Beyoncé gave birth? Now, how many of you scoffed when you heard that Beyoncé and Jay-Z rented out the entire fourth floor of a hospital at a cost of $1.3 million? And there lies my point. This is exactly what's wrong with celebrity culture.
But before you get the wrong idea, I'm not peeved at all that Beyoncé and Jay-Z threw their power and money around to get a floor of their own, and quite frankly, if I were them, I'd do the same. My problem lies in why they did it, no, why they HAD to do it, and, sadly, my friends, the answer lies with you.
We are talking about a couple here that have been forced to rent out an ENTIRE floor of a New York City hospital to ensure that Beyoncé could get the attention she required. Along with extra security and screening every doctor and nurse so no mobile phones were taken in, these are the extra measures that a young, happy couple had to take to ensure they could get some peace and quiet away from all of the nosey, gossip-seeking media clowns who feed you all your daily celebrity rubbish.
Can you all see how wrong this is? If no one cared, and her birth was just like the bazillion other births that happen every day, there would have been a WHOLE EXTRA FLOOR at a hospital. Not a room, not a ward, but a floor. Meaning, in a hospital system that already faces strain, a truckload of extra patients desperate for medical attention could be looked after alongside Beyoncé, and the whole process would have been a piece of stress-free cake.
I'm no expert, but I'd be willing to bet that the chance of someone dying in that hospital went up at least 50%* due to the extra attention required to ensure Beyoncé and Jay-Z had some peace. And that's just wrong. Shame on you, gossip queens. Shame on you.
So please, I beg every single one of you, next time you see a headline, ask yourself if you really need to know what you're about to read. After all, Jay-Z and Beyoncé give us great music, we don't have to know about their private lives. That's what Kim Kardashian is for.
The Project has considered Brad’s request not to care, but, given public interest in the child’s reported name, Blue Ivy, we shall be forced to report on this story. It’s your own fault, people.
Follow Brad on Twitter at @bradwingquay