Did you know there are more weekends in an Olympic year? Well it isn't true, so you'd better make the most of this one.
SYDNEY - Whale Watching
Ever wanted to watch whales? You never know what they'll get up to if you aren't watching. Sure, it starts with a little innocent frolicking and breaching, but before you know it they're hanging around train stations and smoking cigarettes. They need to be watched. By you. On a boat. In Sydney.
ADELAIDE - Tap Dogs
Oh man, Tap Dogs are back. Yep, those guys who forever destroyed the notion of tapdancing as an unmanly pursuit are back from wowing the world to whack their toes on stuff in Adelaide. There really aren't many shows, so, you know, hurry up.
PERTH - Big Top Olympians
So, you promised your kids you'd take them to the Olympics. Why did you do that? You had no way to follow through on that promise. And now they're expecting to jet off to London any day. Well, this won't make up for your puzzling and foolish error, but it will keep the kids entertained while their disappointment simmers.
MELBOURNE - Melbourne Cabaret Festival
It's the closing days of the Melbourne Cabaret Festival, and let's face it, you've missed a lot. That thing the other night? Amazing. You'll never see its like again. But there's still time to squeeze in (oo-er) to a show before all the wigs and eye shadow are packed up for another year. Come on, you love cabaret.
BRISBANE - Delectable
All this Metro Whipping is making me hungry. Luckily, Brissy is plating up a scum-diddly-umptious festival of gut-fillers called Delectable. But it's not just about food. Oh no. It's about plants (which could be food too) and music (which can't. Well maybe for the soul). Look, the point is that it's about the entire saga of getting good stuff into your face, so get into it.