Perhaps due to the tedium of their work amongst the offices and hallways of our various Parliaments, it seems some of our most 'responsible citizens' have been booting up the work computers to surf the smorgasbord of nubile actors and actresses doing naughty things to each other.
Last week, Christian Democratic Party MP Fred Nile was forced to reverently deny reports that he and his staff had used their work computers to perve on porn some 200,000 times, claiming that it was mere research. I once told my mum that the magazine she found cleverly stored under my bed was for research. She said “Of course it is dear." Looking back, I think she was mocking me.
Reverend Nile claimed his staff only viewed porn sites “for a few seconds”. We all know the first two minutes of a porn vid are wasted on some sort of craftily scripted storyline. If that's all they were watching, then one has to question the quality of their research. Those researchers can't win; they are either slack or perverted. The public service wage can't be worth that.
A preceding 'unofficial' audit of MP's internet use had already caught Paul McLeay with his pants down (figuratively speaking). His 'Internet History' (a real trick for young players) was what did him in; riddled with porn and gambling sites. He apologised to his family, his wife, and to his Premier Kristina Keneally, who was open-minded enough to suggest that she understands that some people probably view porn in the privacy of their own lives.
Ms Keneally has politely understated it. There is not a warm blooded male in the land that hasn't enjoyed some R and R with a touch of porn. The ladies amongst you may revolt at this notion; some males may even repudiate such a claim. But porn is part of modern day life - just search any 'explicit' word and watch the impressive number of links pop up, surely a testament to the insatiable demand for these websites.
But this is not a comment on the wrongs and rights of pornography; it’s an exercise in empathy for the parliamentarians who've been caught dabbling in the lewd arts. Mr McLeay is 38 years old, and Fred Nile will turn a ripe old 77 in a week's time. They are clearly men still coming to terms with just how easy porn is to come by these days. Computers have always been part of the adolescent lives of us Gen Y's (I am a 29-year-old male if it wasn't patently obvious), so we are adept at making our cyber legacy vanish like a fart in the wind. Anyone of McLeay’s or Nile's age spent their childhood nudging their mates in the back of the local newsagent, egging them to grow the courage to place a Playboy on the counter, without giggling, and spend the eight bucks so you could all sit around and laugh at anatomy that had hitherto been pretty much unsighted. The prospect of seeing naked ladies at the click of a mouse must seem absurdly basic.
Everyone wastes time on the net at work. That's probably its most useful function. Had the MPs been looking at Facebook or Twitter, no-one would have raised an eyebrow. But as soon as something as outrageous as a bouncing breast or a taut bottom flashes up on the boss’s time, the moral police lose their minds. You would think looking at porn was illegal. For the record, it's not!
But despite my hopes for a world free of sexual taboos, being caught with porn is, admittedly, highly embarrassing, and can irrevocably impact the family life of a public figure. It can even, as we've seen, cost them their job.
I lost my first laptop to porn. I was cheekily researching Pamela Anderson's most recent shoot in my upstairs bedroom when I heard my Dad climb up the stairwell two steps-at-a-time. In a panic, I piffed the evidence across the room, shattering it beyond repair. Dad and I looked at each other, then at the pile of LCD plasma and plastic, then back at each other. He knew.
So let's not be too hard on these guys. I'm not suggesting work is best place to look at porn - in fact, I can't imagine a more awkward place to encourage one’s libido. But I do think the feeling of being caught is probably punishment enough, without all the hypocritical demonization of these so-called “perverts”.
The opinions expressed in the 7pm Side Project blog do not necessarily reflect those of the 7PM Project or the Ten Network.
