You may have caught our item this week about how to spot a secret illegal drug lab in your street. If you notice suspicious amounts of chemicals, closed curtains, or the smell of cat’s wee, chances are you’re either living next to a clandestine drug lab, or my grandma. But if you really want to make sure, here are a few more signs that your neighbour could be making illegal drugs in his shed:

Your neighbour’s bin is full of cold and flu tablet boxes, but no tissues.

You give your kids lollies, and they pull out a small set of scales to check you’re not ripping them off.

You hear shouting and gunshots coming from next door. Then the shed blows up and some motorbikes take off. Your neighbour tells the cops he saw nothing suspicious.

Your neighbour says he’s a cook, but shows no interest in MasterChef.

Your neighbour is a 56-year-old bloke called Barry with AC/DC tattoos on his arms and an unusually detailed knowledge of the rave scene.

Your kids suddenly start getting great marks in chemistry.

As a secret signal, there is an entire junkie thrown over the powerlines out the front.

Your neighbour worked on Underbelly as a “technical advisor.”

You ask your neighbour why he’s taking delivery of so many chemicals and lab gear, and he tries to convince you it’s because he’s a terrorist.

Hope that helps. Stay alert.

The opinions expressed in The 7PM Side Project blog do not necessarily reflect those of The 7PM Project or the Ten Network.